I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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