i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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