im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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