Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Randomize
