you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Randomize
