you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
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