so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
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