THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
They are going to name an STD after you.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
