We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
