Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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