Sry I called you an 8
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Randomize
