sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
