P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
