I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Randomize
