before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
