yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
