But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Randomize
