I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
