gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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