This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize
