STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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