It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Randomize
