Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize
