thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
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