Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Randomize
