Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
