I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
Banned from zoo.
Again?
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
