I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
