I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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