I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
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