i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Randomize
