Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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