So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
this will be a night to untag.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Randomize
