gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
