Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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