Betty ford says i'm here all night
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
