Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Randomize
