why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Randomize
