he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Randomize
