she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
