i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
