So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
