Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
did you just send me my own nude
Randomize
