walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize