But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Houston, we have a squirter
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
