Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
As shirtless as possible
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Randomize
