I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Randomize
