I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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