Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
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