She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
